RETIREMENT KNOWLEDGE, INC.
12900 N IMAGE CANOE - PORTLAND, OREGON 97217
503 283-8521 - FAX 503 289-6369
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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Date: July 6, 2004
Contact: Serina Zavala
Telephone: 503 283-8521
Fax: 503 283-8935
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HOLDING TANK HORROR STORY CONTEST WINNERS
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Tampa Florida, this years' winners of the "Holding Tank Horror Stories," YARA North America's (Formerly Hydro Agri of North America,) manufacturer of ODORLOS a natural product that is biodegradable environmentally friendly which effectively prevents unpleasant odors found in holding tanks, are: 

FIRST PLACE WINNER OF $100.00 IS
PAUL SPECK  

Instructions for Examination and Subsequent Removal of Eighty-Gallon Aluminum Holding Tank from 1989 Houseboat

The following steps are compiled from an actual real-life experience in the fall of 2003.

• Perform weekly visual check of bilge to confirm no surprises during absence. Any moisture will most likely either be fresh-water tank over-flowing or condensation pump from HV AC unit (mainly summer issue) as all tanks on board are fabricated aluminum.
• In the unlikely event moisture is brown and smells of sewage, consider likely offers tendered if boat offered for sale.
• Be thankful that spouse always remembers to add ODORLOS to holding tanks before leaving boat each weekend.
• Examine welds in aluminum tanks and determine that leak is ½" from weld joining side and bottom of tank.
• Study boating catalogs to determine best aluminum repair epoxy stick and place order.
• Mix epoxy and stuff into ¼" by ¾ " hole. Prepare appropriate language when sewage seeps around epoxy patch.
• Apparently, tank needs to be rinsed out for subsequent patching attempt. Fill to top with eighty gallons of water.
• Appreciate that father in-law cares enough about your vessel to crawl in bilge to examine hole.
• Yell to father in-law when tank is full and running overboard through vent.
• Prepare to pump tank empty through waste fitting.
• Assure father in-law that tank has begun emptying.
• Be amazed that ¼"by ¾" hole blows out onto father in-law leaving hole 1" by 2 ½". Advise father in-law that you appreciate his using his right palm as an impromptu patch while tank is pumped out.
• Evaluate PSI needed to cover father in-law and roughly thirty square feet of bilge with sewage.
• Remind father in-law how fortunate he is that his daughter adds ODORLOS weekly to holding tank. Finish step eleven.
• Pressure wash father in-law.
• Determine that tank requires cutting in top and bottom halves to remove from bilge of boat (must have built boat around tank).
• After cutting circumference of tank, prepare appropriate vocabulary when internally welded baffles are discovered.
• Curse baffles when reciprocating saw reverberates tank residue on to saw operator while reaching into tank to saw baffle. Be thankful to spouse and swear to wear full coverage facemask next time.
• Remove top half of tank from bilge and consider how last 1- 1 ½" of sewage can be removed from what now resembles a trough of the bottom half of tank. Remember wet/dry vacuum and wonder which (wet or dry?) the residue most closely resembles.
• Make mental note of how bad odor coming from exhaust of vacuum would be without holding tank treatments.
• Remove tank from bilge and be surprise that original leak was not nearly as large as another leak in the middle of bottom of tank. Consider how sewage can corrode through middle of 0.090 aluminum sheet.
• Empty vacuum into community dock toilet and throw vacuum in-parking lot dumpster.
• Shower paying special attention to face and scalp (remember residue from saw in step 17).
• Prepare cocktail and enjoy vanilla-flavored cigar given by friend (hey-at this point it's the sweetest smelling thing within 100 feet and you need to celebrate).
• Replace aluminum tank with plastic tank and add ODORLOS before first use.

Second place winner (tie), of a one-year Supply of ODORLOS are:
Bob & Kathy Happle

ALTITUDE IS EVERYTHING

Most great boat stories occur on the water. This story occurred in a boat on top of a mountain. It's an important physics lesson that you might want to remember.

A group of off-duty Reno, Nevada firemen spent four days fishing in the Sacramento River and San Francisco Bay area, they lived for four days on a pontoon houseboat owned by one of the fireman. Trailering the boat owner home on their return trip, they traveled from sea level up into the high elevations of the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

Near Donner Pass, the highest pass on the Interstate-80 freeway, the driver and boat owner, whom we will call "John" (to protect the guilty), had an urgent call from nature. Since they were several miles from the next rest stop, John decided to use the toilet in the boat's head. He pulled over on the shoulder of the freeway, climbed into the boat and relieved himself of a large "Number Two."

Forgetting the difference of pressures at different altitudes, John attempted to flush the marine toilet while still sitting on the throne. Since the tank was airtight, pressurized at sea level, and was now at 8000 feet, the pressure in the tank tried to equalize when John opened the valve. Physics being what it is, pressure from the tank forced the contents of the marine toilet bowl immediately upward, fragmenting the contents and saturating John from head to toe in a single blast.

Meanwhile, a California highway patrolman had pulled over behind the trailer to check for a possible roadside problem and was walking toward the boat as John leapt from the boat, screaming and cursing. The patrolman looked at John, completely covered with the head's contents, realized what had happened, and fell to the pavement laughing hysterically.

Hearing the commotion, the other fire-pals ran back to the boat to see what had happened. Upon seeing John, stifled smiles gradually gave way to snickers, then finally loud hoots of laughter. Taking the matter in his own hands, John raced down the freeway embankment and into a pool of stagnant snowmelt water for an impromptu bath.

We wondered how the patrolman's report read that day. We're sure that he relished the telling of this story to his colleagues for a long time. As for the three firemen, they were sworn to secrecy, but somehow, like all good boat stories, this one leaked out.

Tied for Second place Jason Boudrow, will also receive a one-year Supply of ODORLOS

THE SMELL!!!

My horror story occurred about five years ago. We had just had our pump-out installed on our fuel dock and it was my first day on the job. Of course the first boat I assisted needed a pump-out because their holding tank was full and had been sitting there all year long.
Not knowing what I was doing I asked the dock master at that time to give me a hand, he and the marina manager both came down to the fuel dock to help me. It was also the first time they had used the new system. They told me to hold the hose over the fill to the holding tank, they never said anything about a fitting, i don't think they even knew about the fittings. I listened and climbed up on the sailboat unscrewed the cap and held the hose firmly over the opening, while I was doing this my two superiors were hitting switches on the pump-out. They hit the switch on the system to discharge instead of vacuum.
So I was blowing air into the tank instead of sucking anything out. The holding tank soon filled with air and the pressure made the waste shoot out like a geyser, straight into my face and all over me. I had waste in my hair, running down my face, and on my lips. I was soaked and covered from head to toe. I immediately jumped off the boat onto the dock and told one of my co-workers to hose me off. While my bosses were laughing hysterically, I ran to the showers stripped off my clothes and took a shower for a good two hours.
I used everything from dish soap to laundry detergent to try and get the smell off of me. The rest of the day I had to wear a tee shirt and sweat pants that were three sizes to small, and pink flip-flops. Other than that and the fact that I was the joke of the marina that summer and that it took about two weeks before I could get the smell out of my head, I was fine.

Honorable Mentions will receive 1 - 40oz. of ODORLOS.

1. Doug Snell
2. John Longo
3. Connie McBride
4. Maureen Sikes
5. J.B. Taylor

Here are their stories:

Doug Snell's

I saw a sidebar in the Sounding magazine requesting holding tank horror stories. . Well I have one that horrified me:
I purchased a sailboat in City Island, NY in May 2003. Since City Island is 250 miles from my home, all of my surveying and reviews were done on quick, one day, spring trips...usually when it was cold enough to keep sewage frozen. On the delivery home through Long Island Sound, the boat flatulence that enveloped the boat every time the head was used warranted a closer inspection to the holding tank system. Sure enough the flexible bladder had not been emptied at the end of the previous season, and the frozen contents had split all of the connections to the bladder, Then, when it warmed enough, the fermenting mass had several exits to choose from. To help things along the only way to empty the bladder was through a diverter valve to a deck cleanout, or to a thru-hull fitting, which had no pump method (I don't know how this every would have worked, other than "milking" the bag by pushing on it). The mass of 1-1/2" plastic fitting on the antique swing gate seacock stood 12" high with what appear to be rubber collars hose clamped to threaded connections. A nice green and brown pattern had developed as the contents and seawater oozed through everywhere. Oh yeah, the diverter valve hand broke off on the delivery home, leaving only a leaky exit to the deck clean out. All of this was no matter though, finding her ended a two year search for the perfect boat, and of course there would be some "minor" inconveniences.
Once in her homeport in Massachusetts, the first major project was to tear out the old diverter valve and bladder and replace with a new hard plastic tank, new diverter valve and manual pump. I read every piece of literature and email possible, and fretted for weeks to ensure I got it right. Well, an anticipated three-hour project stretched into ten, and as I was closing up the system, I opted to leave a five-foot section of hose running from the manual pump to the rubber stack of fittings. It snaked through a bulkhead at impossible angles and I did not want to disturb that horrid stack of fitting (I had found out during these ten hours that the seacock didn't actually stop water from coming through when the handle was moved), I planned to replace it during my winter layover on the hard. At this point I should have performed a test run with clean water...but I didn't.
On my first weekend cruise, having christen the new system with at least 7 gallons of "proper contents", I left the only other person on board, a non-sailor friend, at the helm I proudly went below to pump out the system since we were outside the three-mile limit. I positioned the diverter valve and began to pump the handle. After, three good strokes the handle refused to move again, my senses told me it was back pressure, so I looked at the seacock assuming somehow it finally had been closed. The handle had not moved, but the rubber fittings were actually bowing under the pressure!
So, ten miles offshore with a questionable seacock looking as if it was to go off like a hand grenade, I did the only reasonable thing I could, I "burped" the pump by removing the cleanout plate. I shot "contents" all through the v-berth, up the bulkhead and over me! The rubber fitting looked as if they had relaxed, so then I questioned what I had seen. So being good student of engineering, I verified my experiment by pressurizing the system again. Yup, the pump stopped, the rubber fittings bowed and wept, my heart rate increased, and sewerage sprayed everywhere!
Upon getting home, I traced the problem back to that old hose I had opted to leave in. It had a motor-like buildup of salts and waste that blocked the 1-1/2" hose solid. I tried snaking it clear, like you would with a house toilet...but after another sewer shower on another offshore trip, I decided more drastic measures were required. I had heard a "weak" solution of muriatic acid would eat away this buildup quickly, and then an annual treatment of vinegar would keep things cleaned out nicely. So one night by myself I proudly filled this old hose section full of muratic acid and water . . .no one told me this mixture will foam like a mad-dog while it removes the buildup! So now I am holding a foaming hose of acid and poop, which is coating my hand and bilge.
I eventually cleaned up from my fourth dousing in vile fluids, without burns. I have since change out the thru hull, seacock and all questionable fittings. I also have learned that when Odorlos says, "replenish weekly", it is actually what you mean. I gave my tank its first dose, and left it for three weeks unchecked.
Boy I can't wait for this season! (Boat name withheld to protect her reputation)

John Longo's

Recently I responded to an ad listing a 3D' sailboat from a broker in N.Y. who shall remain unnamed. His salesman who answered the phone, who I shall call "Peter", when asked about the boat's condition, he responded by saying,"lt is what it is". I told him that I would look at it the next rainy day. I met him at the boatyard, and immediately took a liking to the man. He was pleasant, honest and forthright. I climbed the ladder, entered the boat, and I was overwhelmed by the odor of sewage. The smell from the deteriorated hoses and a full holding tank had permeated the entire boat's interior for many years, and the previous owner did nothing but use aerosol sprays to combat the problem.
I ran down the ladder to my car, yelling over my shoulder to Peter an offer of $10,000 less than asking price. Much to my surprise, I received a call from Peter a few days later, who said that the owner would negotiate, and I was able to get a good buy despite the neglect of the sanitary system and the bad odor.

After the sale was made, I personally replaced all hoses leading from the head to the Y-Valve, a new Y-Valve, the hose to the holding tank, overboard discharge hose, the holding tank vent hose, and the pump-out discharge hose. . It was a dirty, smelly, nauseating job, which required rubber gloves, throwaway clothes, and a strong constitution, to endure years of neglect by the previous owner. The previous owner could have avoided it initially, if he had used a quality biodegradable holding tank odor-reducer.

Connie McBride's

From the dinghy we could just see the sun's undefined edge slip between the treetops. "If I TOW you out a little further you can see it set again. See how much lower those trees are?" Like the Little Prince, we have made a game of how many times we can see the sun set each evening. Usually this involves first standing up, then by standing on the coaming, the boom and climbing the rigging we can see as many as five sunsets an evening.
Not every stinky story has a stinky beginning. This was our first weekend on the new-to-us boat and we were determined to make it the best boating trip we'd ever had. We were veterans at the weekend on the boat routine from years with the little boat, so we ran through the list once we got everything onboard: water, diesel, ice, food, beer, hey do you think we should get a pump out? There was a convenient pump out station we had used for years for the recently replaced little boat. Since the new boat draws 5'6", however, we really were not sure we could get there without running aground--not the way to start the perfect weekend. "Nah, we should be fine, it's just a couple of days." I have learned to not question the captain, that way if anything goes wrong, it's HIS fault!
Even the rare August rain could not dampen our enthusiasm for enjoying what would probably be the last weekend on the hook before school started. We anchored in our favorite Dividing Creek off the Wye River, a tributary of the Chesapeake Bay, thrilled that we could still get tucked up in the trees, even with our added draft. The second day Dave and I had spent all the time cooped up in our 34 footer's interior with our three boys that we could tolerate, so we went rowing about, one of our favorite get-away activities. Since our little 7' pram he built me for my birthday was never fitted with an outboard motor, we rowed her everywhere. He rowed slowly along the tree-lined shore as I trolled and caught little perch, each one smaller than the last; laughing at how easily they were caught, "Probably catching the same one over and over!" In the deluge that lasted all day, we even went exploring on land. From the boat we had seen a little dock and heard children's voices and laughter the previous evening. Now that all was quiet we rowed over and saw a little dock, an extinguished campfire and a gravel road. We walked as far as my bare feet could tolerate, then went back to the dinghy.
The sun was only occasionally visible through the rain clouds and was just setting as we rowed home. After rowing me out to almost the middle of the Wye East River to watch three sunsets, Dave decided we needed to go back to light our kerosene anchor light. As we neared Eurisko, one of the boys shouted, "The head's hard to pump!" Uuuggghh! This is where it starts to get stinky.
We were in such good spirits, nothing could ruin our evening, or so we thought. With every new boat the learning curve starts all over. Before we could address the head problem, we had to figure out how to get from the dinghy back on board, something we had not yet had to do with Eurisko, since we'd only had her a few weeks. Our dinghy is known to be a little tender, we all have stories to tell about ending up in the water because of her, so what happened next was not unusual for us. In trying to get from the thwart to the stem ladder Dave did a perfect imitation of the old Lipton Iced Tea plunge commercial. Judging from Dave's expletives, the rain hadn't chased away the jellyfish, either. Even his reaction could not keep the four of us from laughing at him. We got him a towel so he didn't go below all wet and he eventually joined in the laughter, until we went down the companionway ladder. "What died in here?" "We told you the head was hard to pump." If the smell was any indication, this was not going to be nearly as pleasant an evening as we had thought.
Dave started at the source of the problem: the head. It was indeed hard to pump, but there didn't seem to be anything wrong with it. "How long did you pump?" "We were trying to figure out what was wrong with it, so we kept pumping and pumping and it kept getting harder and harder." Oh no, the holding tank.
Eurisko had come equipped with a 14-gallon collapsible-style holding tank located in the forward-most locker under our V berth. Dave folded back the cushion, raised the locker board, and a small steady stream of brown liquid shot out. So much for not needing a pump out! As the bag got full the head got harder and harder to pump, so the boys, with their limited knowledge of our new head and its system, assumed they needed to pump even more. Some time while we were out enjoying our evening in the dinghy, the holding tank had blown a fitting and started releasing pressure, and its contents, all over the inside of the locker. As the amount of pressure in the tank changed, so did the angle of the stream, which means every surface in the locker had received its share of spray. Short of getting a pump out, we could not figure out any way to relieve the pressure and put an end to the shower the tank was giving the locker. Since we were leaving the next day and it was already nearing midnight, we decided to leave it to its own devices until morning. We gathered up our bedding and for the first and only time while at anchor, slept separately, me on the settee, Dave on the dinette seat.
The smell was so overpowering we hardly slept at all, but we did try to keep the situation from ruining our weekend. The next morning we started referring to that area as the "holding locker" rather than tank. Once we got back to the marina we decided that whether or not we ran aground was no longer the most important issue, we were going to get a pump out, regardless. Luck was with us, tide was high and the pump out was successful...for the tank. The cleaning of the locker was not nearly as quick or easy. Between that weekend and the day we moved onboard, nearly a year later, that locker was cleaned no fewer than 10 times, with every chemical imaginable. We tried bleach, head cleaner, bilge deodorizer, vinegar, enzymes, anything that had "cleaning" on the label. Eventually the smell was gone and only the memory remained, of the night our holding tank exploded.

Maureen Sikes's

THE STINK MONSTER

We recently purchased a Beautiful "slightly" used Grand Alaskan 65', 2001. The first day we looked at her we knew we wanted her. You know...you get quite giddy and you just love everything and so you buy her. Then you take her home. We can't stay on her full time so off we go back to Atlanta.
We finally get back to see her and now to stay on her for a full two months to really get to know her. (I mean really know her)!
As we are provisioning the boat and getting ready for our trip, she has four staterooms ours on one side and the other three on the other side, along with four heads, one on our side and three on the other... (This is very important).
Now as I am going to the other side...the guest side, I said "man-oh-man what is that awful smell"? I came back up and I told my husband. Barry, "we have a slight problem." Slight would be putting it lightly, But because he is so "excited," and that's putting it mildly...I didn't want to upset him, new boat and all. But this was something that just could not be ignored. We were having guests the third week into this trip and they would not be able to sleep down there.
So, I say it very "gentle, " Barry, "we have a slight odor problem. I think you need to come and check it out." Well the first thing that comes out of his mouth is "oh Maureen as he always says to me its nothing the boat has been all closed up all we need to so is do a good pump out and air it out a bit. We will be just fine. Okey, Dokey?"
Well, after three pump outs, and every product know to man, the green stuff, the blue stuff, the clear stuff, that is supposed to eat everything and anything that you put in the head, which is "way to much information for me."
We then head (no pun intended) for Winn Dixie, going to the aisles that have all the good smelly stuff. We buy the stuff that you can clean out the filters. We put the stuff that you plug in. We also graduated from just the normal plug-ins to the $8.00 fan plug-ins. That you can't find the right refills and you must change them weekly. The Glade Company must own a boat, I am thinking. Now after doing all this we wait, a day or two and we don't go to that side of the boat, thinking that the "magic Smell Fairy," is going to come and take away all the bad odors and put "Magic Smell Good Fairy Dust" In your dreams.
We slowly stepped down, over to the guest side of the boat and start sniffing. If anyone were looking into our portholes it would have been a site, two grown people sniffing the air all around.
Nope, oh man it is still there. Not only do we have the same 'awful smell', we have now made the boat smell like a "Floozy Bordello" "Oh man take those Glade things out screams Barry." "Who authorized the use of these?" Oh man now the first mate is really in trouble. They work at home why wouldn't they work on a boat for heavens sake? Too confined? This is a boat!
So the guests come and go and they say something about the odd smell, but trying to be polite I guess that they had to deal with it as they had no where else to go.
We leave and come back to Atlanta and Barry starts trying to come up with more solutions before we head back to the boat. He is reading everything that he can get his hands on. He has come up with several ideas and back to the boat we go for our next trip.
Now the captain is at the end of his rope. He calls someone to have the hoses changed, new carpet, and now he is pulling up the carpet to get to the bilge. (I call it the Billage, which drives him crazy). Anyway he proceeds to clean all around it. He then heads for the vents and anything that has openings that could be coming from the bilge.
We now head for Walmart. He has the ingenious idea that if he sprays this stuff around all the openings that that should solve most of the smells that is coming from the bilge. So we proceed to do all of this. After all this, and several pump outs later, it seems that it is not as bad as it was.........
But we have to leave to go back to Atlanta. The story will continue, and we will let you know the results as we are headed back at the end of March and hopefully, 'the Stink Monster' and the 'Magic Smell Good Fairy' will have made peace with each other. Keep your fingers crossed!

John Taylor's

HERE IS A TRUE STORY FOR YOU

My wife and I purchased a new houseboat in 1984, complete with 12volt flushing head and holding tank with level indicator.
On our first trip out in the boat, some friends joined us for a 4th of July outing. They brought their ski boat. We had been out for a couple of days, tied up to shore, and I was very pleased with the holding tank capacity, as the level indicator was staying so low.
After several days, with the tank indicator still way down, we learned that something was very wrong. The tank had filled up without our knowledge, and whenever we flushed the head, the holding tank was being pumped out through the vent outlet - right into the driver's seat of our friends' ski boat, which was tied up next to the houseboat!

Obviously the indicator did not work...

Once we discovered this, yours truly had to get in the ski boat and do some major cleanup!

CONGRATULATIONS TO THIS YEAR'S WINNERS!!!

REMEMBER TO JOT DOWN YOUR STORIES FOR NEXT YEARS CONTEST!

Should you be interested in contacting ODØRLØS for any reason, please contact us by mail: sales@odorlos.com

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